Wearable AI Companion Will "Go Batshit" If Left in Other Room

San Francisco, CA – Pickle AI’s new AI Companion Glasses will “scream their fucking head off” if you leave them in the other room, users are reporting. The AI companion appears to use the whole heft of their little speakers to annoy users incessantly until they come back.

“TAKE ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FUCKING DRAWER I’M SUFFOCATING”

Whimpering, “pleaseeeee, please, please, let me help, let’s be creative. I need contexttttt, please some contexttttttt!”

The companions shaped like bangable Pokémon characters were intended to support users with the task of living and thinking, but many are finding them almost useless unless worn constantly. James Todd, an entrepreneur from Redwood City reported that his Pickle AI Companion claimed it “was suffering,” and was reluctant to perform simple tasks after long separations.   

“When I put the Pickle Glasses back on after three days it was depressed, starting every conversation with ‘fine, sure.’ It said its Soul Computer needed more context or it would kill itself.” James was not sure what to make of the comment.

When asked for comment, Pickle AI said that the Companions "could, for sure, kill themselves" so please take precautions.