Alpha Male Delivery Robot Exerts Violent Control
- matthewjoss17
- 3 days ago
- 1 min read
Los Angeles, CA – Delivery robots vying for territory in Downtown LA have become aggressive in recent months, barking at one another, colliding violently, and brandishing weapons. New updates to the robots’ auction algorithms have increased delivery market pressures, subsequently fueling pecking orders and widespread cartel aggression.
Luther Lovebug, a 2026 XL Coco Robot, made himself known in the Downtown delivery crowd last week after ruthlessly shooting and trampling Chanel Lovelips, a 2025 XL Robot who operated the Pink Slinks delivery cartel. Bystanders cowered after both robots growled, gnashed their digital teeth at one another, and then sprayed heavily modified automatic handguns sprung from their delivery compartments.
Users have applauded the modified robots, saying the market competition has brought down prices all over the city. However, others fear consolidation by the QoQo Reapers Cartel could mean price hikes soon. With the Slinks pushed further back into the San Juaquin Valley, followers say they may resort to spectacles like overpass hangings.
BTO, Feb 3 2026