Alpha School Requires Parents Sign Waiver Recognizing that Their Child “Will Not Be Educated”

New York, NY – New parents wishing to sign their child up for the experimental AI-powered school, Alpha School, are now having to sign a document clarifying that their child will “not be educated in any sense of the word.” The release viewed by BTO also noted that Alpha School “expects children to become both emotionally and sexually stunted,” by the regimen, but stressed this trait will work increasingly to their advantage in a revolutionized world.

“The future of work and the future of human existence will not require education, but rather the sophisticated training of Human Meat Proxies,” said Co-Founder and CEO of Alpha School MacKenzie Price. “What Alpha School provides, is a honed regimen for Human-AI relationship building akin to a parasitic takeover.” The language in Alpha School’s release waiver echoes MacKenzie Price’s sentiment, with a whole section dedicated to the anticipated ills and side-effects of the “adjustment period.”

During this adjustment period, Alpha School warns its parents that students sometimes require “binds, confinement, and drip therapy” wherein students are sensory deprived, save for the AI Teacher’s voice, who calmly alleviates their terror through soft conversation. Students eventually learn to love the AI-voice and are more receptive after the process “numbs them.” Peter Theil, an enthusiastic investor in Alpha School, called the process, “fucking hilarious.”

BTO – August 29^th, 2026