"DEI is Dead?" Not So Much. Meet Pooja, Amazon's Newest Delivery Drone

Seattle, WA - Excitement abounds at the 3-Orb Amazon Headquarters in Seattle as they unveil the latest iteration in delivery technology - and diversity. The announcement comes shortly after discussions around delivery technology are rising to new heated heights as gang warfare has infamously broken out between delivery bots in Los Angeles, but CEO Andy Jassy thinks this case is different.

This isn't just a delivery bot. This is a monumental leap forward for OTD (On-time Delivery) and women of color everywhere.

Pooja will start deliveries within just the Seattle and Bellevue cities performing work for the prescription division of the delivery giant. Amazon will start out by performing deliveries for underprivileged women of color at competitive rates before expanding to, as the lead product designer puts it, 'poors' and then 'whites.' A BTO insider asked a lead engineer on the project about the strategic choices, and heard back that they were optimized around 'whatever we have to say for the city and the FAA to give us air clearance.'

Pooja's endgame, per Mr. Jassy? "Get everyone accustomed to it, their schedules working around it, and then (a BTO insider reported a throbbing erection at this point) crank the fees up."

The city of Seattle is extremely excited to be part of this huge accomplishment for racial injustice across the country.

BTO, Feb 4 2026